I'm not trying to be a hero! I'M FIGHTING THE DRAGON!!

Test out the timeline for us

Our ridiculously dedicated outlawvern.com programmer, Clubside Chris, has been working on a new way to browse my old reviews: the Timeline. You can access it through that link there or you can find it by clicking Home>All Reviews>Reviews (Timeline) in the menu bar at the top there. Check it out – it lets you flip through all the reviews in order by release date, so if you’re interested in a specific time period you can see how well I’ve covered it. I’m amazed to have anything this slick on here. It’s pretty cool.

It’s still a work in progress, but he has the reviews of ’99-’01 and ’12 sewn up. There are more than 500 reviews in there and Chris would appreciate some feedback on performance. So let him know in the comments here what you think and if you have any problems using it.

Meanwhile, Chris says he’s located 16 Ain’t It Cool reviews of mine that were missing from the archive. I had no idea. If you happen to remember any others that you read on there but could never find on here, please let us know.

Also I’d like to point out that at Home>All Reviews>DTV Reviews (Years) Chris has put my reviews of DTV movies in chronological order. I love it because it’s helping me to see the bigger picture of the history of DTV.

thanks as always to Chris and thanks to anybody who helps him out with feedback

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 4th, 2012 at 1:34 am and is filed under Site News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

51 Responses to “Test out the timeline for us”

  1. Good man, that Chris Clubside.

  2. Holy cow! Pretty cool.

    Chris, FWIW, on my Mac a window came up that said a script was not responding— the first time I told it to stop the script, and the bottom half of the timeline (the part where you can flip through it with the hand icon) did not appear. I reloaded the page and told the script to continue when that dialog box came up, and after a moment the bottom half loaded, too.

    I’m not sure if that tells you anything useful, but thought you might want to know about it based on what Vern said.

    On the topic of missing reviews, Vern, I’ve always been amazed that there is no review of The Limey to be found anywhere on your site. I always assumed you’d just never written a review for it, but now I’m wondering if it could be one of these lost AICN reviews. Either way I figure this is as good a time as any to mention it.

  3. Cool feature. Thanks Chris!

  4. What browser are you using psychic_hits? At the moment the only issue I’ve been having is on the iPad 2 where it’s very sluggish. With nearly a half megabyte JSON file needing to be transferred and processed by the TimelineJS script I can see where there might be a “not responding” message, but I haven’t had that yet on any of my five test devices. It’s silky smooth on my i7 with 16GB of RAM on Chrome, and I know by the end people will need/want a way to access subsets, I’m just looking for feedback on performance (or anything else) to see if I have to break it up earlier to keep it worthwhile until all of the reviews have been added.

  5. I’m digging it. But the Original Kings of Comedy entry uses an excerpt from Hollow Man.

  6. I’m on Firefox 14.0.1, but my Mac is at least 5 years old, so that might very well be a factor (it is a 2hz Intel Core Duo MacBook Pro 1,1 according to the “About” info). My technological prowess peaked in the Super Nintendo era— sorry if this was an irrelevant issue to bring to your attention.

    Regardless, thanks for what must have been a lot of work putting this thing together! I think it rules.

  7. Great execution of a cool idea, at least on my laptop, barely runs at all on my iPad though which is a shame.

  8. Thanks for that catch Darwin, it’s fixed. Tough dealing with a gigantic text JSON file but I didn’t want to commit to a database until I had everything worked out.

    It doesn’t perform well for you psychic_hits most likely due to no hardware acceleration for the transitions so even when you get the sliced versions it won’t be as smooth, but it should improve.

    Same goes for you Electric-, and I feel your pain as I do iPad testing daily and it’s slow as molasses on the iPad 2 (chokes my original iPad).

    The plan is to finish the Timeline as a whole then import all the data into http://badassdb.com and use its database to slice versions (the early years, the ’90s, etc.) so people who can and want the whole thing will still get it, but you” have the option to say, just se the DTV releases or just the movies from 2000-2009.

    This testing is very helpful, thanks everyone. If push comes to shove I will do the manual separation early for the sliced versions. Given this feedback it might have to be soon as when I finish the 2002 reviews this week we’ll be nearing 700 reviews.

  9. re: http://badassdb.com

    whoa. Is that gonna be part of outlawvern.com

  10. It might be a Firefox issue rather than a Mac issue, Chris of Clubside Township, as I’m on PC and Firefox 15.0 and it gives me the stopped script message, too. It immediately comes up after I “try again”, but the lag is a bit of a drag. I’m sure you’re on it, though.

    I know this is a tough-to-impossible question to say “yes” to, but when the reviews that originated on Ain’t It Cool News get transferred over, is there any way to include some of the more memorable back-and-forth talkback exchanges between Vern and some clueless cinematic cretin who dared to mouth off to Vern? As a kind of “deleted scenes” of the review, so to speak? I realize that they may legally “belong” to AICN (whether or not the commenter’s handle is included), but damn it if some of those insults Vern wielded weren’t pure gold, ones that I’d love to see preserved for posterity in some way. If it ain’t possible, or if Vern prefers to be like my man David Fincher and say “the finished product is the finished product”, I guess that’s okay, too. (wipes away small, poignant tear)

  11. By “comes up”, I meant that “Timeline starts normally after the script stalls once and I try again”, by the way. Same issue when I back up from a review back to the Timeline index. Thank you for the improvements, in case I didn’t say that before! Which I didn’t!

  12. Not sure Mattman Begins, at least on my Firefox 15 on Windows 7 I get the same effect as in Chrome (spinner loading the Timeline pauses before it should) but no warnings. Unfortunately TimelineJS seems to only be smooth in WebKit (Chrome, Safari, etc.), the animation is weird in IE9 and chugs in Firefox. I planned to raise the issue with the developer but after having experimented with other timelines I’m guessing he never imagined one this big so I’m going to wait and dump the proverbial motherload in his lap lol. I guess it would be worthwhile at this point to put up a subset sample (say the ’70s) and have you guys check that performance. Since the whole thing operates client-side we’re dealing with both data transfer at startup and background processing for the timeline and transitions so there are two things potentially affecting people at this point. I’ll try to have that ready for this weekend.

    I could import Talkbacks but would have to fake the email addresses and I don’t think that’s a good idea. Since all of the AICN reviews have links to the original posts (and the ones that cause 404 errors will be fixed now that AICN has standardized their URLs).

    As for http://badassdb.com Darwin, I don’t want to spoil it (and since it’s part of three forthcoming projects any early reveals will just lead to more questions). Just imagine an open source IMDb focused on badass movies with public embeds as a foundation. But it’s gonna serve the badass community, so expect a lot more.

  13. Vern: seeing the timeline (very nice!), completeness calls for a review of something from the late 1800s.

  14. Ha! You actually implemented a feature I’m always looking forward in review websites ! The Timeline is awesome. You see , I’m actually trying , right now , to find all the numbers of a particular comic book ( Action Comics ) , with a very specific villain in it ( Brainiac , but only the “cyborg” one ) , and in two days I wasn’t able to find a single website with a chronological and character search index : for fuckin’ Action Comics !! I figured , since the nerds are a very obsessive bunch , there must be something like that on the internet , but I just can’t find it . So , congratulations you guys ! You out-nerd the nerds!!

    On a more serious note :American Yakuza and Cold Harvest are DTV? OK , Cold Harvest looks cheap and all , but try recent DTV trailers or movies and you can easily see that in most cases the quality is rapidly declining . In Cold Harvest there’s none of the “Asylum” DTV cheapness effect. And American Yakuza ? That’s a well shot , well acted movie that I’d love to see in a cinema ! Try to compare it with the trailer from that upcoming movie with Seagal and Austin !

  15. Reviews Vern wrote in 2002 are now done.

    I made a temporary page for testing, it includes on movies from the 1970s added to the Timeline already. See if this MUCH lighter weight page clears things up:

    http://outlawvern.com/all-reviews/reviews-timeline/reviews-timeline-1970s/

  16. Reviews Vern wrote in 2003 are now done. The pace starts to quicken with 2004 and 2005 but still hope to get them done by the end of the week.

  17. By the way, what do you guys think of the flags in the recent comments? I thought it was kind of cool to show off the international cultural exchange we got going here, but I don’t mean to lump people into teams or anything.

  18. This is one of the few sites where I actually don´t mind having my nationality displayed considering the good people here. I usually like to have strict anonymity online wherever I am. But how does the site knows what country you´re from, really? How does it work?

  19. Shoot, Vern reads our post and takes a wild guess. For instance if you mention meatballs and Volvo every now and then you must be from Sweden!

  20. Apple pie. Baseball. Spray tans. Jet skis. Fast food. Kate Upton. Unprecedented military spending. Red white & blue, etc..

    USA is better than your country.

  21. Only just noticed the flags. Curious.

  22. pegsman – if anyone is talking about Volvo they are more likely to be chinese than swedish these days…

  23. The flags come from a lookup table based on the IP recorded at the time of the comment. They can even be included along with the full comments just let Vern know what you think.

  24. I never realised the full extent of Vern’s international appeal.

  25. It’s gonna be so cool when someone’s comment produces a Val Verde flag.

  26. That’s kinda cool, though I’d prefer a scotland flag, personally.

  27. I like your spirit, Mouth, but of all the things you mention only Kate Upton come from America. But I guess 1 out of 7 ain’t bad.

  28. We don’t care whence they come. They represent & belong to the USA now.

    We are also claiming Christopher Hitchens, Aroldis Chapman, Gustavo Dudamel, and Fritz Lang.

  29. I hereby confiscate RoboCop as swedish property. Also, the Punisher, I guess we will have to claim Underworld as well. It will be seized and integrated into the great cultural heritage of the Exquisite Kingdom of Sweden. The assimilation will begin shortly.

  30. I don’t have any flag….since , you know , I’m typing this from SPACE!

  31. As a great American poet once said, “It ain’t where you’re from, it’s where you’re at.”

    That said, keep your damn dirty hands off Robocop. Like our greatest city, New Fucking York, we have learned to share his origins with the Dutch, but that’s as far as we’ll go.

  32. Yep, Verhoeven is ours. Him and Rutger Hauer are all we have to be proud of, movie-wise, so they’re staying here! You can have Carice van Houten though, I don’t care.

  33. Casper Van Dien sounds Dutch enough, you can fuckin´have him! But since Joel Kinneman plays Alex Murphy in the new RoboCop I have to acknowledge that the latest update ( RoboCop 1.2 ) is the one to go with. Anything swedish related is being confiscated in the name of the king ; Carl XVI Gustav . You wretched lot should be grateful to serve him under his malevolent rule. Bow down before him or be crushed like the insects you are. Mwoohahaha!

  34. Man, I’m blurry-eyed and this chair is more than a little painful but all the reviews from 2004 are now on the Timeline, putting us a hair shy of 700 reviews available for your scrolling pleasure.

    Looks like pulling a date out of my ass for lauching http://badassdb.com was a mistake since at the rate I’m going there’s no way I’ll have the rest of the years done in time but for now I’ll be delusional… I mean optimistic.

    Performance is still fine of my development machine in Chrome but it is chugging in general. There’s been an update to the TimelineJS source but the fucking caching system keeps fucking things up when I try to update so that’ll have to wait.

    Man, the features I can roll out when this is done are gonna be a lot of fun, but I gotta power through. Sleeeeeppppp…

  35. clubside

    “The flags come from a lookup table based on the IP recorded at the time of the comment. They can even be included along with the full comments ”

    You mean here in the comments ? Right beside the name and Gravatar thing ? That would be great !!

  36. Now nipping at the heels of 800 reviews, all the posts from 2005 have been added to the Timeline. Vern was kind enough to double up on reviews at the end of the year so that accounts for the delay. It looks like at this pace it’ll be another three weeks to finish up. I’ll start on 2006 after a brief respite.

    Again, any hints on performance or usability concerns please let us know.

  37. Another year, another nearly 100 reviews added to the timeline. With all the posts from 2006 now finished and the work required to handle just this one year I have to be worried that pushing back http://badassdb.com by a month won’t be enough because if anything the remaining posts from 2007-2011 will be even more voluminous. Oh well, on to 2007, and if you get the chance, check out the now nearly 900-entry strong Timeline.

  38. Remember that if we ever have the chance to meet face to face, I have to buy you a beer (or non-alcoholic beverage of choice).

  39. Creeping up to 1,000 reviews on the Timeline now that posts from 2007 are out of the way. Just this quick update, I have an emo-dump planned for when we actually hit 1,000. But it’s on to 2008, now only four years worth of reviews to finish up. The thing is still performing quite well in Chrome on my development box but I haven’t been testing anywhere else for a week or so. I guess I should check to see if the actual TimelineJS code has been updated with any cool features/better performance in non-WebKit browsers.

  40. Okay, too tired for the emo rant, saving that for tomorrow. But I have finished all the posts from 2008, there are now 1100 movies on the Timeline. Performance is actually starting to be affected on my development rig, mostly after a quick jump and then rapid scrolling. I also found a bug when the date January 1 is used so I’ll need to update to the latest version of TimelineJS before reporting it in case it’s already fixed.

    I’m going to take a slight detour to finish up the October posts so all of Vern’s Slasher runs are up early enough for Halloween revelry. After that back to the grindstone to finish off 2009, 2010 and 2011. Still hoping to finish everything before November.

  41. The remaining October reviews have been added to the Timeline bringing us close to 1,200 reviews. Damn! With October of 2009, 2010 and 2011 out of the way that leaves just January through April, July through September and November and December of those three years to finish up. One of the reasons I wanted to add the October entries beyond Vern’s annual slasher search posts being timely was to add another Reviews page: Slasher Reviews (Years) is now available. As a hint of what http://badassdb.com will be bringing to the party, imagine generating a Timeline just of the slashers. Or just all of Vern’s Bruce reviews. Yeppers, we’re getting close.

  42. We’re now past 1,300 reviews on the Timeline with the completion of the 2009 posts. That leaves just 18 months of reviews to go through to finally finish this project and move on to http://badassdb.com which I hop can launch in December. At this rate looks like Vern’s reviewed 1,500 movies in 13 years. Day-yuuuuummmmmm!

  43. Finally, the light at the end of the tunnel lol. At the cusp of 1,500 reviews, I now only have nine months of reviews from 2011 to finish off the Timeline. Though it’s too early to start talking about BADASSDb features, I’m already mulling Summer Release Timeline, Your Birth Month Timeline, Clint Timeline, DTV Timeline and more. Will be so happy when the data entry is finally finished by the end of next week and I can get to the programming!

  44. It has not been said enough: You are a goddamn hero.

  45. Remind me to buy you a beer or two if we ever meet.

  46. I already said this a few months ago as it seems. But I really mean it.

  47. WELL FUCK ME!!! Damn, I thought I was finally done. Thursday night with only December 2011 posts to go through I thought I had smooth sailing and could begin the programming part of this journey. But nope, “you fucked up, you trusted us”, with “me” as the metaphorical “us” (like the metaphorical “girlfriend” in Vern’s review of SUPERHEROES). I thought I had already added all the 2012 reviews up to the point I started the project, but nosireebobtail, I didn’t do January through April. GOTT DAMM!!! SHEEEEEEEEEEE-IT!

    So here’s where we’re at: over 1,600 reviews, all posts from 1999-2011, are on the Timeline. Nearly 700 movies are dated before Vern’s first Internet review in 1999, the rest after that date. Given the months remaining which will take me another week to finish looks like Vern has reviewed over 1,700 movies. I’ll give that another GOTT DAMM!!!

    So while I had hoped to spring a whole raft of new features on you guys tomorrow, looks like it’ll be a week from Monday.

    And I’ll be thinking about that beer the whole time, CJ.

  48. 1,700 movies now on the Timeline. I’m at the home stretch. With the January through April 2012 posts done I only have the stragglers after I started the project and we’re good to go. Thanksgiving never seemed so appropriate lol we’ll see how much I can plow through tomorrow. Look for new shit come Monday. I’m ready to take a break and rewatch some flicks since most TV is in repeats tonight.

  49. ALL REVIEWS NOW ON THE TIMELINE!!! This is the big one, I finally get to actually DO something with all this data. In the meantime, however, you can now find every movie Vern has ever reviewed using The Timeline interface. That’s over 1,700 movies! GOTT DAMM! AWWW HELL NAW!!! I’ll need a couple of days to process all this into a database so I can crank out some new pages but before then:

    1. Tracking down posters, trailers and release dates shouldn’t have been this hard. Vern doesn’t make it easy reviewing a couple of movies that were never released and have no DVD, and piling on a few that should have posters but I was forced to use VHS cover art.

    2. How hard is it to fucking make your video the correct aspect ratio? I had to upload 125 trailer to YouTube and not just because a trailer was missing but because incorrect aspect ratio, far too small or bad audio/video made what was there worthless. The saddest offender: studios actually selling the movie through YouTube yet the fucking trailer is stretched. Great interns ya got there!

    3. All of the movies on the Timeline are currently using “first public viewing” dates. I will be adding U.S. wide dates during the first http://badassdb.com pass and will update all of the pages to use that date in terms of timelines and shit here. But even using that formula (first date not part of an industry buy showing) I still had to stub in a dozen or more dates. How in the fuck can movies from the 1930s have precise dates yet movies from the 80s and 90s that actually have fucking DVD releases not have precise release dates anywhere? I will be a lot more thorough during that first database pass, but it sort of backs up my mission with BADASSDb since IMDb can’t be bothered and that fucker was once crowdsourced before Amazon bought it and made it a gigantic advertisement engine.

    I also updated the Suggestions that hadn’t had the posters and trailers added so that section should also be up-to-date. I will be moving its functionality to another site since I have to re-code the fucker anyway and there are a bunch of ancillary features to it that wouldn’t fit here.

    Thanks for checking the Timeline out as a work-in-progress, hope to have some cool stuff added soon!

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