Comments on: Ninja Assassin

By: Mr. Subtlety

Mr. Subtlety — Sat, 15 May 2010 16:24:30 +0000

Ah man, I have to say, I came dangerously close to really liking this movie. Its oddly classy in its own meatheaded way, taking time to build suspense, character, and momentum and coming up with some fun ideas when it clearly could have just tried to crush us with nonstop fighting. I found myself getting kind of honestly excited during the scene where Raizo is chained up — what the fuck is gonna happen? When its a great, extended action sequence which follows, I kind of thought “holy shit, this is the real deal – a genuine great 80-style earnestly well crafted hack action film,” you know, like Peter Hyams might have made. But then it just seems like a whole act is missing! It goes right from really taking off to the big finale.

Sadly I ended up feeling like 53 hours is too short a time to write a script like this. It has all the elements set up right, but just as them converge it cuts to the end. I seriously think with even a half hour more material with Raizo and the Europol agent together on the run, you might have had a genuinely great one here. Yes, the camera doesnt let the action come across as well as I’d like, but it does better than I feared and the action looks cool. Rain is cool and charming, and even the knucklehead who plays Naomie Harris’ boss has a great sense of confused cheesball acting to him. There’s plenty of material for genuinely greatness here, but the digital blood is a good metaphor for how the whole thing ends up feeling — almost great, but maybe a little too easy to have much punch. Glad I ended up seeing it, though. I’d actually love to watch a sequel which put Raizo into the plot a little more.

By: Issac Maez

Issac Maez — Mon, 03 May 2010 19:44:32 +0000

http://bit.ly/antivir2010killer

By: wadew

wadew — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 00:54:20 +0000

I liked Rain and I liked Sho, but the Europol stuff was boring. And you’re right about the action. McTeigue isn’t a big fan of wide shots, but I can deal with that. What was really annoying is that the biggest action scene takes place in almost complete darkness. I know Ninjas operate in darkness, but come on. Get creative with the lighting and let people actually see the action scenes that you spent months choreographing.

Adkins’ NINJA is better. Adkins plays the most boring man alive, but the action is very good and there are two menacing video game villains.

By: Paul

Paul — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 22:00:27 +0000

Frank – there are many, many things in my life that have “warped” me, but “The Thing” is not one of them. Actually I could stomach the “blood test” scene easily when I was a young’un. I don’t find it so easy to watch now.

Gwai, “T2″ was something I didn’t see until much more recently. So don’t worry, I’m not your secret identity!

By: Gwai Lo

Gwai Lo — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:18:33 +0000

I think Paul must be my doppelganger or something. I was also Edward Furlong’s age and saw T2 as soon as it came out on video, and I also saw The Thing when I was about 5, and again at age 8, when I screened it for my 3 year old brother. Warped for life indeed, but in a good way, I insist.

By: frankbooth

frankbooth — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:42:14 +0000

2 years old? I hope you didn’t see it then. That could warp a person for life.

By: Paul

Paul — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:46:55 +0000

Also, two hundred Internets to anybody who can come up with another film in which Arnie gets punched / kicked / shot / otherwise struck directly in the testes.

By: Paul

Paul — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:44:53 +0000

Frankbooth – “I may not know much about art, but I know what I like.”

And FTR I was about the same age as Edward Furlong’s character when “T2″ came out, and two years old when Carpenter’s “The Thing” did.

By: hamslime

hamslime — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 07:46:52 +0000

I’d say that John C. Reilly would be Fozzie since their voices kind of sound the same anyways.

That one muppet chick with the closed eyes and big lips (I think she plays the bass or saxophone) can play the coked up chick that ODs in the bedroom.

Gonzo would be Rahad Jackson, Rizzo The Rat as Cozmo and Jack (That big scary looking muppet that’s actually a guy in a muppet costume) as the big black guy in the back room counting money. I don’t know who you guys are going to agree on for Dirk but good luck finding a suitable Todd Parker. Maybe Dr. Teeth?

I do think that Kermit is the logical choice for Dirk though since Kermit is generally the starring character.

By: M. Casey

M. Casey — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 05:13:58 +0000

Burt Reynolds as Burt Reynolds makes sense, but who the hell is Gopher?

We’re also going to need a John C. Reilly.