Also, we’re worried that the will new Texas Chain Saw Massacre will emulate Part 2 but be humorless and Saw-like. With Jackie Earle Haley as new less fun, more “realistic” Chop Top.

On the topic of disfigured corpses, I saw von Hagen’s exhibition when it caused quite a stir here in Germany and I wanted to see it for myself before hating on it. I kinda like to criticise stuff from an informed position, y’know? Anyway, that shit shook me. Ethics aside (by now, there are thousands of people volunteering for that creep), I just don’t enjoy seeing skinless pregnant women in pin-up poses with a split belly and the exposed fetus inside, if they are actual human beings and not props in a HELLRAISER movie. You can run school classes through that horror show as much as you like, but there’s no denying that the guy is getting some sick kick out his undignified displays. He may be using the mantles of educational value, demystifying death or even art, but I’m not buying it. There was this one display of the human digestive tract…it’s one thing to show the esophagus, stomach and intestines of some guy for a paying audience, but if you feel the need to top that off with a lolling tongue on one end and a shrivelled, plastinated ASSHOLE on the other, you’re really pushing it, Kane.

Your “belly of the beast” remark underscores something that I really like about the original film: the actions of the kids aren’t drawing the wrath of a violent redeemer (like Jason), or serving as instruments for someone’s scheme of vengence (Freddy, Jigsaw), nor are they tempting the great supernatural beyond (Pinhead’s posse). The CHAIN SAW kids are like unwitting explorers who walk into a lost tribe; the tribe exisits fully-formed in its behaviour and customs. Basically, the kids who stumble upon the family are disrupting an ecosystem.

It would be a shame if that element of the original was lost, or if it was depicted in a heavy-handed way. You don’t want to burden the family with too much theatricality. I think that was Hooper’s genius in the first film: the family is horrific but somehow realized in a perfectly naturalistic way.

Jareth – because this is in 3-D, I think part 2 should be the model, because if they were gonna convert them all to 3-D I think part 2 would be the coolest. The original is a masterpiece of imagined violence, but if you’re making this in 3-D and you don’t have body parts flying it’s a waste. So I think it should be ridiculously gory, but in an “oh shit!” ’80s kind of way, not a “I have to take a shower” 2000s way. I don’t think the family should be in the background, except maybe in the first third or so. I think you gotta follow the Texas Chain Saw tradition of dropping the protagonists into the belly of the beast and it’s a total nightmare until they escape into the daylight at the end.

As for Hooper not being able to get that Hooper weirdness, check out his “remake” of THE TOOLBOX MURDERS. It definitely has weirdness that only he could do. Of course, that’s six years ago, but hopefully we haven’t seen the last of him. (MORTUARY’s not too bad either.)

And don’t talk to me about bonsai , they’re a pain in the ass ! I hate those little fuckers ! We sell a couple every year , we don’t actually make them , but you need to be extra careful when watering them because the pot is so small . They don’t like to stay indoor and some gardeners even say that they like music or background noise . Yeah , you like Iron Maiden , you little shithead ?

You know, on second thought, changing careers wouldn’t be such a bad idea.