Well, you’ve got this ball rolling, so here’s my two cents. You can take Mr. S’ Gloveriffic idea of victims back from the dead, but spin it in a Crow angle, so that you have the victims returning to avenge their deaths at the hands of Jason. However, since most are dumbasses they get hopelessly confused by the directions on their make-up kits, and expend all their necro-energy (a Halliburton patent) on eyeliner and Cure B-sides. All except for Glover, because he’s so awesome. Then you’d have Crispin Glover in grizzly clown make-up, maybe in a team up with Brandon Lee but man none of the other crows. You can even do a “River’s Edge” riff to real milk the Glover for all he’s worth.

Picture: Glover and Lee, on Crystal Lake’s edge shortly after resurrection. Glover’s first line: “We’ll hide the body, so that it’s never found.” Alas, he touches off a zombie apocalypse by accidently burying Jason (after a brutal knock down drag out fight of course) in a haunted Indian Burial ground behind Winn Dixie, bringing about the apocalypse. Glover and Lee go on a desperate Midnight Run-meets-Zombieland journey to recruit the one man with the awesome wisdom to bring down the dead for good—Ash! Ash, who spends his days designing Killdozers in his own custom cabin in the backwoods; Ash, welcomes our mimes with open arm(s), as in the background, chainsaws sing. The battle for mankind’s future is on.

Oh, and Freddy pops up, still hellbent on making sure everyone dreams. Because, you know, he doesn’t want to sit this one down and stuff, and box office will be huge. And the cannibal family from texas Chainsaw joins the heroes, because the zombies are contaminating the food supply. Or something.

Fellas, I thank you again for allowing me to participate in the single nerdiest thread in the history of this site. Really, it’s a wonder any of us sees daylight. Oh, and Vern, I highly recommend “Deep Red.” It’s easily my favorite Gaillo, absolutely perfect and by the one and only Argento, back before he started using horrible CGI and Hot Topic witches to make a movie (I’m looking at you, “Mother of Tears”). “Tenebre” is also good.

CRISPIN GLOVER ZOMBIE.