Comments on: The Substitute 4: Failure Is Not An Option

By: In Kanoff

In Kanoff — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:42:43 +0000

Hi, I cannot understand the way to include your website in my rss reader. Are you able to Guide me, please

By: Bad Seed

Bad Seed — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 17:51:15 +0000

I’m checking this series out, although Substitute 4 sounds a tad too sloppy for me. I’m all for shooting from the hip, punk-rock filmmaking, but I hate it when films drop the ball; forgetting continuity, not following through on plot elements, etc. Yeah, sometimes it creates coincidences that lend the film a surreal depth, but usually it just shows that the filmmakers don’t give a shit.

I know this doesn’t score me any points with Vern, but I love MST3K. The reason I bring this up now? Their episode, “Attack of The The Eye Creatures” is all about this kind of movie. First off, the filmmakers didn’t notice they already had the word “the” in the title once, so they threw it in again; then they forgot when it was night, and when it was day, so that scenes would flip back and forth like a schizophrenic eclipse (which I know sounds cool—but isn’t); they couldn’t afford all the monsters to have full costumes, so sometimes one would just wear the head, leaving the rest with full costumes.

The best part is at the end the cast gets the actual “director” to come onto the ship. He appears, wearing an “I’m With Stupid” T-shirt. The mads are all “Tell them about how this is your vision.”

The director just stands, reeling, looking blank.

“Tell them about how this is your passion.”

Again, not even a blink.

Finally, “You just didn’t care, did you?”

The director gets a glazed over look in his eyes, and points at them, like, “You gotcha.”

But, on the plus side, Substitute 4 has to be better then Attack of The The Eye Creatures.

By: Sorry512

Sorry512 — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 03:06:25 +0000

In the latin american dub it’s OPORTUNCRISIS!

By: Stu

Stu — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 20:29:04 +0000

“sending them on terrorist bombings of minority owned power plants (?)”
Do they make a “White Power” pun about this?
“I’ve noticed in the comments that people seem to have different ideas of which is the best sequel. Personally I’d rank them in order – #1 is best of the series, #2 second best, etc. They keep getting weaker each time. But I gotta say I enjoyed watching all of them, and you don’t get that too often.”
Then maybe rather than numbering the films 1-4, they should Grade them? The Substitute A, B, C and D, though D would be create an oxymoron with the “failure is not an option” tagline.

By: Kenner

Kenner — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 17:33:26 +0000

The Substitute series is one I liked. Actually I liked 1,2 and 4. Didn’t like 3. In anycase my favorite one is Failure Is Not An Option, I mean how can you not love a movie that blows up outhouses. Plus Kilpatrick was a great villain, and overall a good movie. I can see though why someone might like 1 or 2 better. For me it goes 4,2, 1 and 3. Treat Williams a good stand in.

In fact him and Sasha Mitchell are the only decent replacements for original stars i’ve ever seen. In Kickboxer and Substitute. It’s ironic actually cause bout of these franchises were the biggest selling STV movies of their day. Kickboxer 1-4 in the early 80s to mid 90s, Substitute mid 90s to early 00s. Also Ironically I like all of them except part 3 in both series. Odd. But the difference is I still like Van Damme’s original best, and liked Van Damme more than Sasha Mitchell, though I liked him. With The Substitute I actually liked Treat Williams more than Tom Berenger. Go figure.

Still…good times.

Speaking of which, when is Vern gonna finish the Kickboxer series like he promised? And here I was going to put a dedication in my action movie review book for you Vern, tsk tsk. I’m afraid until you correct this… :)

By: OsLord

OsLord — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 16:38:03 +0000

I saw all of these a long time ago, but the only one I really remember well is the first because I watched it so many times. Vern, you’ve inspired me to take a trip down Memory Lane with a stop off at the Substitute Ale House.

By: Mr. Majestyk

Mr. Majestyk — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 16:37:14 +0000

Guys, this is totally off-topic (shocker, right?), but I recently gained access to one of them doowhackeys (that’s a technical term) that burns VHS onto DVD. Any recommendations for analog-only flicks? Particularly obscure late-80s/early-90s straight-to-video action movies. Those are my current obsession, along with the collected works of Werner Herzog. (I’m a complicated motherfucker.)

This is neither of these, but I already bought Malone on tape from Amazon for two bucks on Vern’s say-so. Well, that and the totally incredible cover art. The movie could totally suck and I wouldn’t give a shit. Shotguns and mustaches go together like Swayze and mullets.

By: Mr. Majestyk

Mr. Majestyk — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 13:42:02 +0000

He just saw that episode of The Simpsons. Crisitunity!

By: Ma Xiao

Ma Xiao — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 12:33:43 +0000

I am 100% certain that the evil colonel never studied Chinese, he’s completely wrong about crisis/opportunity. So you can relax about his character coming over all multi-cultural, he’s just a bullshitter.

By: Back2Pennyrile

Back2Pennyrile — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 12:05:13 +0000

Vern, since you’re on an undercover kick at the moment, and since your out of Substitutes, may I recommend you watch the Charlie Sheen classic, “Beyond the Law”. I was watching Sons of Anarchy on TV last night and it made me think about it. I personally think it’s superior to the Bos’s under cover biker opus. Michael Madsen as, the president of the outlaw motorcycle club, a character named dildo, part of his transformation into becoming a “true” biker involves pissing on his jacket, and it’s one of those classic “based on a true story….kinda” movies. Oh and it actually has some biker chicks who actually look like a real biker “old ladies” not just the Hollywood super model types that are usually in the type of flicks. Keep an eye out especially for the bride in the biker wedding scene, she’s a beauty. I’m begging ya Vern!