Comments on: VERN’S 2009 SUMMER MOVIE EXPLODETACULAR

By: watches

watches — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 21:31:39 +0000

Does it sound muffled when you go thru all your setting, like Dolby, and whatever functions your receiver can be set at. If it does, I would change out the center speaker.

By: Brendan

Brendan — Sun, 31 May 2009 14:14:09 +0000

I would actually recommend Van Helsing as a funny bad movie. The only point against it is that Hugh Jackman is clearly trying really hard to make the movie work, so I kind of ended up feeling bad for him, because he is pretty good, but the rest of it is just such utter shit it’s hilarious. So yeah, Vern, I would say Van Helsing marks the turning point for Sommers becoming a filmmaker just incompetent enough to be amusing, which makes me think that G.I. Joe will indeed fall into that category. VH is probably worth the rental, in my humble opinion it will probably generate ‘a couple chuckles.’

By: Vern

Vern — Sun, 31 May 2009 05:01:31 +0000

Man, you’re making me want to see VAN HELSING. I stopped watching Stephen Sommers movies after the first MUMMY, but that one sounds pretty funny. Actually, I’m probaly gonna watch GI JOE because it looks hilarious in a Rob Cohen kind of way, and because it has ninjas.

By: Brendan

Brendan — Sun, 31 May 2009 04:48:06 +0000

You know what, I still like Transformers, and I like it as a movie, not as a MST3000 kind of a thing. On the rewatch, most of the joeks are pretty lame, but none that really bugged me to much.I don’t know, I never really had Vern’s problems with the action or designs, those things seemed fine to me. I felt like Bay’s approach of complete mayhem to his action actually fit the brawling giant robots pretty well, and I thought he did a good job of backing up and letting some images just hang there, usually when they involved fire. I personally felt like there was an actual sense of awe towards these special effects, usually coming from Shia and Megan, and that’s rare in summer movies these days, where big visuals just sort of frantically race by without any rythm or pace. I got the sense watching Transformers that there was a confidence in these creatures, and it payed off.
And hey, I do get where you other guys are coming from. For me, that filmmaker who embodies everything that drives me crazy about big studio movies that get made these days isn’t Bay, but Sommers. Van Helsing is what I think of when I read Vern’s articles about the Mummy 3, or other things of that type. Van Helsing is an absolutely unmitigated disaster, but whenever it’s on TV, I’ll flip over to watch it, there’s something about its mongoloid approach to story, character, design, history, action, and the behavior of human beings that is fascinating to me. There’s also the basic level of masochism that comes from watching everyone except for Hugh Jackman vanish into the blackhole that is overemoting and bad accents.

By: Sorry512

Sorry512 — Mon, 11 May 2009 11:45:24 +0000

Man, Fuck Transformers! (pretty good right? Took me a while, but was worth it).

By: AU_Armageddon

AU_Armageddon — Mon, 11 May 2009 09:55:18 +0000

dunno what all the ranting about transformers is. good movie. what do you expect
vern, it’s based on a toy. it’s not gonna be hamlet.

By: Wickedeve

Wickedeve — Sat, 09 May 2009 16:50:50 +0000

Vern, I would buy your book in a geekasmic heartbeat.

What chaps my hide about TRANSFORMERS is this: as true lovers of “popcorn movies,” deep down, we crave respect for what we adore. And just as we get a build up of pop movies that transcend the title, along comes something paint-by-numbers like TRANSFORMERS, proving all the naysayers correct in their assumptions of what a crappy summer movie really is. It gives the “others” ammunition for criticizing our tastes. And when a talkbacker says, “This isn’t supposed to be Shakespeare”… Gah. Even Shakespeare used tried and true chestnuts as a foundation for stories, but he added gracenotes that *made* him Shakespeare. That’s the difference between THE TERMINATOR and TRANSFORMERS–one bothered with the gracenotes, the other was absolutely graceless.

By: ws

ws — Sat, 09 May 2009 15:45:59 +0000

It seems like the whole idea that summer movies are SUPPOSED to be idiotic really kicked into gear in the mid-90’s when “Speed” and “Independence Day” came out…I remember that being time when I first stared hearing things like, “Yeah, of course it’s vapid. But, what do you expect? It’s a summer movie!”

I think people who say things like that are, in reality, saying one of three things:

1. “I’m a cynical jackass.”

2. “Quit being so difficult and get with the program and start mindlessly consuming like the rest of us!”

3. “I like this movie but I really can’t articulate why and the fact that you don’t like it annoys me.”

Number three is the only option that I have any sympathy for; if you like something you really shouldn’t have to explain why you like it (unless you’re actually a critic).

By: keepcoolbutcare

keepcoolbutcare — Sat, 09 May 2009 09:06:45 +0000

great writing as usual, Vern.

I believe “Black Dynamite” is set to be released in early September, which unless someone’s mucked about with the calendar still makes it a summer film, technically.

Anyone know the status of a stateside release of “The Good, The Bad, The Weird”?

By: hamslime

hamslime — Sat, 09 May 2009 04:56:23 +0000

I really hope Ninja and Ninja Assassin do well so we can get more ninja movies.

I’ve said it before and I’ll repeat myself here… Dudikoff vs. Kosugi directed by Sam Firstenberg. Make it happen hollywood.