Archive for February, 2009

Any Which Way You Can

Thursday, February 19th, 2009

At first I was a little concerned about this sequel. Sondra Locke comes back, and that seems pretty fishy because she totally screwed Philo over in the first one. She was not a good person and nobody in their right mind would think “why didn’t those two crazy kids work it out?” So I was a little disappointed in Philo for forgiving her, and maybe in Clint for casting her. It smelled like girlfriend nepotism.

But by the end I realized that this letting-bygones-remain-in-their-original-state-of-being-bygones business is the central theme of the movie and the reason why it’s so enjoyable. It’s about friendship and bonding and forgiveness, about enemies becoming buddies. When mustache-sporting tough guy William Smith shows up in town and goes jogging with Philo you know right away that he’s gotta be the big mafia-sponsored underground fighting opponent Wilson coming to spy on Philo. That’s easy to predict. What’s not as expected is that they instantly like each other, and it stays that way. They help each other out and there’s alot of talk of owing one and being even, but it seems to me that’s all a front. There’s just no animosity between them, nothing but professional respect and a shared disgust for the people they’re working for. I didn’t pick up on that at first. I thought Philo would outsmart Wilson and show him up. Maybe he could if he wanted to, but he respects him too much. When they finally do have their fight you’re not rooting for one side like you traditionally do in a fight movie. They’re not fighting for any kind of grudge or to prove anything, but just out of love for their sport of bareknuckle boxing.

At the end (SPOILER) even the Black Widows, who have been at war with Philo for two movies and have been repeatedly humiliated (as well as had their property destroyed) decide they like Philo so much they endorse him for president. That’s the real message of the movie, that anybody can get along, even if they’ve been punching each other in the face or tricking each other into being covered in tar. In retrospect I realize this is all established in the song over the opening credits, a country duet between Ray Charles and Clint himself (!) called “Beer’s To You.” The song is about how Ray and Clint are amigos because of all they’ve been through. They even reminisce about roughing up the locals at a bar in Tucson and then buying them beers all night. That’s the philosophy of the movie. (more…)

2/13/09

Friday, February 13th, 2009

Let’s celebrate Friday the 13th not with bad luck, but with fist fights and apes. EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE. (sequel review soon)

By the way, I don’t know if anybody’s waiting for my take on the new FRIDAY THE 13TH but if you are I wanted to let you know I’ll probaly wait until the DVD unless I can get a free pass somehow. I don’t usually feel that bad about supporting this whole wave of remakes, but this particular company and director already made a mockery of my favorite horror movie, and they’ve been very open about their whole strategy: 1. Buy rights to famous movie title 2. Make list of everything that is good about original movie 3. Be absolutely sure not to include any of those things in dumb and joyless but shiny remake 4. Make tons of cash in opening weekend because teens recognize words used in title 5. Use profits to further ruin the world.

I’m not passing judgment on anybody who goes to see it or who likes those movies but I know if I buy a ticket I’ll feel like a mouse consciously stepping onto a trap for a long shot at the cheese. Or a guy buying back his own stereo from the dudes who broke into his apartment. But feel free to email me your (light on spoilers) thoughts if you saw it and think it’s worth discussing.

Every Which Way But Loose

Friday, February 13th, 2009

Clint Eastwood is Philo Beddoe in…
EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE

Don’t you hate it when you and your orangutan are driving somewhere in your pickup truck minding your own business and some fuckin biker assholes pull up and start harassing you about there being an ape? Why can’t a man and an ape travel together as equals without getting stared at and made fun of? And also, does someone who wears a viking helmet really have a leg to stand on in making fun of your choice of animal companion? And no wonder those morons put swastikas on everything, going around harassing different races and species.

Well when and if this happens to you you might get fed up and try to chase those fuckers down, possibly steal a street sweeper and tail them until they hop a train, at which point you will at least get to steal their bikes. This is a worthwhile option and one that works out for trucker/mechanic/bareknuckle brawler Philo Beddoe in this movie, but it also begins a war that leads to many fights and the destruction of more than a dozen motorcycles. So just know what you’re getting into here is all I’m saying.

EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE has a reputation as a monkey movie, because Philo happens to hang out with the aforementioned orangutan named Clyde. But actually Clyde’s heritage is incidental, it’s not a movie where Clint has to protect the ape from greedy developers or somebody, or the law tries to take him away and put him in a zoo. This is not the type of movie that Ghost Rider enjoys while sipping his glass of jellybeans. Clyde isn’t even the co-lead or sidekick, he’s just a member of the ensemble, one of the many quirky touches in a light-hearted comedy about this professional street fighter who thinks he’s in love with a traveling country singer (Sondra Locke – not trustworthy). (more…)

2/10/09

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

Chocolate is a delicious treat that may have been invented by the Aztecs. CHOCOLATE is a DVD coming out in the U.S. today that was invented in Thailand.

Chocolate

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

This heart-rending melodrama from Thailand tells the courageous story of Zen (newcomer Yanin Vismistananda), an autistic girl who finds out her mother has been suffering from cancer but hasn’t done anything about it because she can’t afford proper medical treatment. With the help of an orphaned street urchin, and despite her many mental obstacles (she is easily distracted by small round objects, she can barely speak, she is afraid of flies), Zen goes around the city struggling to collect enough money to save her dying mother.

Harrowing, huh? But you know come to think of it I should’ve mentioned that this is from the director of ONG BAK, so the way she collects money is by picking fights with gangsters, battling 15 or 25 guys at a time, doing flips, hopping over and under various furniture and pipes, hitting people with her feet, hands, knees, elbows or head, swordfighting, throwing people off buildings, etc. See, her mom used to be a gangster and all these assholes owe her money, and Zen wants to collect. And it just so happens that one of the things she is fascinated with is the movie ONG BAK. She has focused much of her mental energy on observing muay thai in that movie and in the kickboxing school she lives next to, and has somewhat superhuman hearing and reflexes. It’s just a lucky combination I guess. So look out.

Speaking of lucky, it’s lucky that these are genuinely bad people and not just friends who borrowed money and forgot to pay it back, because I don’t think Zen understands that they’re bad people. She has no concept of good or evil. She’s just trying to collect the money and they’re not handing it over like she thinks they should, so violence ensues like in the movies she sees. I guess CHOCOLATE argues that violence in the media does influence people, and can help treat cancer. (more…)

2/4/09

Wednesday, February 4th, 2009

Okay, I know this movie is old news in the rest of the world, but we finally got TAKEN starring asskicking Liam Neeson.

Taken

Wednesday, February 4th, 2009

TAKEN has finally hit American shores many months after everybody else in the world already saw it and emailed me about it. As reported, it is a Luc Besson-produced version of a Seagal-type scenario: ex–CIA badass’s daughter gets kidnapped in Paris, he goes and gets her back. An old favorite. The hook is that this badass is not played by a Seagal, or even a Statham. It’s Liam Neeson (SCHINDLER’S LIST).

Okay, so admittedly action is not completely new for Neeson. He was a swordsman in both BATMAN BEGINS and PHANTOM MENACE. A long time ago he was Darkman. He even co-starred in a (not very good) Patrick Swayze action picture called NEXT OF KIN. (The one where not-famous-yet Ben Stiller plays a mobster’s douchebag son.) But mostly he’s moved beyond that, and I think most people consider him a Serious Actor. You know – MICHAEL COLLINS, KINSEY, GANGS OF NEW YORK, Spielberg’s choice to play Lincoln. And here he is playing a role that the first Ain’t It Cool review complained could’ve been played by Jean-Claude Van Damme. But of course you and I agree that’s why it’s so cool. We want to see a Van Damme movie but with Liam Neeson. Or how about a Michael Dudikoff with Frank Langella? Or a Bolo Yeung with Daniel Day Lewis? A Cynthia Rothrock with Susan Sarandon?

In TAKEN Liam Neeson gets to do all the badass ex-CIA shit that was so sorely lacking in ETHAN FROME and LES MISERABLES. Lots of quick, blunt chops to dispatch foes, appearing out of nowhere to beat people up, outsmarting and outfighting police and organized crime to find out things he’s not supposed to know and get into places he’s not supposed to be, working his way through the chain to find his daughter. As a bonus he thwarts a knife attack on a pop star. (more…)

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