I don’t know about you but I’ve been enjoying these “debates.” It’s hard to call them “debates” without quotes because there are so many damn rules they might as well just play dungeons and dragons or something. I thought one of them was gonna get a balk.
(baseball technicality where a pitcher has stepped too far away from the mound and the batter gets to walk to first)
The best was definitely the first one, unofficially titled Kerry Unambiguously Whoops Bush’s Bitch Ass Part 1. I was a little nervous before the whole thing because you never know what’s gonna happen. Obviously Kerry had a good chance of doing well, and Bush had a very high chance of looking like a complete jackass. We all know the man can’t stand there and answer actual unplanned questions. We’ve seen it many times before, from the campaign 2000 interviews to the Meet the Press interview to even the handful of fake ass scripted “Press Conferences” he’s had. Even when the deck is stacked, he loses all his money.
What I’m saying is, the president is a fucking retard. I love America and all that, but the president is a fucking retard. Quit pretending.
Still, that has nothing to do with anything. If Bush went up there wearing his pants backwards and spent the whole time talking about his Yu-Gi-Oh cards, the media could still probaly pass it off as an impressive showing by a strong, decisive leader. He was just showing that he was down with the people. When his dad was president he was so out of touch he hadn’t apparently been inside a grocery store in 35 years. This Bush though, this guy is with it, he collects Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Just like the hard working, God fearing, homeland securing NASCAR dads and security moms and juggling uncles and commemorative coin neighbors and all the other embarassingly obvious fictional demographics he represents.
But about two minutes into the “debate,” it was clear there was nothing to worry about. This was a hilarious 90 minutes of television. It really seemed like some reality show where they told Bush he was going to be auditioning for an updated MY THREE SONS sitcom, then when he asked to use the bathroom before the pre-interview, they directed him down a hallway that led onto a stage on live television where he had to debate John Kerry. (more…)
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