Archive for June, 2003

Whale Rider

Friday, June 20th, 2003

Boys,

Well SIFF is over but that doesn’t mean I can’t somehow end up seeing WHALE RIDER, which won best film and best director at the festival. In fact, I DID end up seeing WHALE RIDER, which won best film and best director at the festival. Also I wrote a review of it. Or at least I am writing a review of it right now. If all goes as planned you will keep reading from here and it will be a review.

First of all let me say that this is not about some guy riding around on a whale. I thought maybe it would be some dude who travels from port city to port city helping people, solving problems, delivering goods, etc. I don’t know if maybe he would be on the run for a murder he didn’t commit. Or maybe if it was Seagal he would be an ex-CIA whale rider fighting corruption using his special spook skills, while riding a whale. That’s not really what the movie is like though. If that’s what you’re expecting this may be your biggest disappointment since LAST OF THE DOGMEN.

What it is though is a real well made and moving family movie just like THE BLACK STALLION or that flying goose movie with Anna Paquin, but with less animals. The story is about a Maori man name Koro trying to maintain the ancient traditions of his culture. He says he is descended from the first Maori tribal leader who rode a whale from Hawaii to New Zealand. He believes a new chief will be born and trained in the old ways, and he alienates his family in his obsessive quest for that chief. Especially his two sons who he doesn’t think are good enough to be chief. (more…)

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King of the Ants

Saturday, June 14th, 2003
(originally posted on The Ain’t It Cool News)SIFF: Vern attends the world premiere of Stuart Gordon’s KING OF THE ANTS and goes nuts for it!

Boys -

No really guys, I really did it this time. A 100% genuine scoop. This time it really truly is not a movie you guys have reviewed the shit out of. You’ve never even seen it because this was the world premiere. But I’m positive you’ll be covering this movie alot as soon as people start seeing it. Stuart Gordon has made his best movie in years, in my opinion his best ever. It is definitely one that stands out from the others because there’s no supernatural business or science fiction or HP Lovecraft references. What it is is a very dark (in tone, not in lighting) neo-noir adapted by brit Writer Charlie Higson from his own novel, about a regular dude in his mid ’20s who’s not sure what he wants to do with his life. And then somebody offers him $13,000 to kill an innocent man. So he figures, you know, why not?

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800 Bullets

Saturday, June 14th, 2003

Howdy fellas.

Hey man, just finished watching this roughcut of ALIEN VS. FREDDY that I downloaded. Man that movie sucked they even had timecode in the corner. Don’t worry though I won’t be filesharing it, people should be willing to pay to see movies. So I’m just gonna sell burns of it on e-bay.

Ha ha very funny anyway boys I just saw Alex de la Iglesia’s 800 BALAS (800 BULLETS to us) at the Cinerama. I’ve been waiting for this sucker for a while because I really enjoyed DAY OF THE BEAST and DYING OF LAUGHTER and I kind of liked PERDITA DURANGO too. Javier Bardem was such a nightmare in that movie, sporting a horrendous schlong, killing chickens and deciding one day hey, let’s go eat some white people. I was kind of surprised when he turned out to be a sex symbol. Same thing with Benicio del Toro. The ladies love him and the first shot in FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS is him pouring beer on his fat belly.

Anyway I gotta say 800 BULLETS wasn’t really what I was expecting. After the insanity and excess of Mr. de la Iglesia’s previous pictures, the title 800 BULLETS conjured up an over the top bloodbath. But the feel of it is more like a kid’s movie (but one that includes some naked prostitutes and revenge killings). They will have to tone it down a little when they play it on Nickelodeon I guess. (more…)

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